Saturday, June 30, 2007

ahh...memories...

it's funny when all we have is
a strange amalgam of online opinion
to document this multifaceted time of art.

recently, when hearing that my letter
was removed from the noiseboard,
(this, i have now found may or may not be true)
i can't go on that forum,
my voice is very small compared to others...
but in thinking about how that clique
is so devoted to their own
(as any group - who can fault them)

i realized that people won't know the truth
about the whole situation.

so here is the quick history of il corral
stane put down the thousands of dollars
to secure what is now il corral
and bob b. with another roommate (mike) moved in.

shows started in january two years ago

soon after, the place not being to his carpet-liking tastes
mike, the other roommate, left
and i took his place in april

since then the three of us ran the place
stane and i with bob,
until bob decided he too needed carpet and
a house to buy of his own
so he left in novemeber
to go on an extended european and u.s. tour

when he returned there was thought that he would
rent a room,
which didn't seem to his liking eventually
so he left
on the outside it was verbal contracts being based in true faith
we had set up to buy the sound system
already having paid $96 from a donation to him
with his thumbprint on the wall charting our progress...

evidently there was something amiss with bob
that i was wholly unaware with

after leaving no word to us and taking the sound system
(which he had made a verbal contract with me
signed his thumbprint to the money we had already given him,
and we were family.
we were family, and he betrayed us so cruelly
from where i'll never know...)

when he left, he did not just choose to go elsewhere
he sent an inflammatory lie to the noiseboard
and to our group (at that time a yahoo group)
which stated that stane and i had stolen
$1000 from turn the screws (winter festival)

at the time i of course went through the books
and could account for all but $120.

but bob was right about something
stane and i did not have our finances talking to each other.

actually, when all was said and done
the house owed us $264 from emergency fees
paid during the festival for the bathroom overflowing.
from turn the screws -
bob saw us cut the check to the plumbers.

when i made this statement in writing on the noiseboard
it was met with accusations and name-calling
that was suspiciously violent,
and those who truly supported us
who showed their colors.

obviously, there lies a greater system than i first understood.

to talk of these things sickens me,
but i had to finally make the statement about the situation.

bob lied, had no basis for his lie,
and never asked us about the money
before making his slander.

since then we have gone through another
set of collaborators,
and now, we have some artists here
who are really on it.

simple things, like cleaning,
or helping with the door,
and being excited about this place
goes a long way.
i hope i will enjoy to watch it grow.

the memories of bob's betrayal
echo through the awkwardness of his friends
as we see them in mutual spaces...
luckily many of them are not welcome
and they figured that out quickly.

this is not the way i would want it...
i would want it to be the way it was...
it was such synergy, and
even with egos and logistics and threats of physical violence
it was worth it.
it was so beautiful,
and bob wanted that to die.

it is as the story of the bird.
the buddha as a young man
and his cousin
were out in the forest,
as his cousin loved the hunt.
he shot a bird and claimed it was his.
the buddha said that the bird was not dead,
so he would heal it,
and that he rightly owned it.
they took their disputes to the judges
who said that the life of anything
belongs to the one who will care
and nourish it
not the one who
would kill it

this is our place, for you, because we want to nourish it.

for those who are still loyal to the idea
of this all-ages mayhem
i send my greatest love.

to those who are new:
know that much drama has occurred
to get this place as stable as it is now.
but that if reconciliation is possible on all counts
it will take very slow time.
but my heart breaks as i say these things.

it is always hard,
i accepted that it always would be
when i committed to staying through all storm or blossom,
but when there is the magic of a show
where everyone is not just touched but hit & knocked over
by what they are doing or seeing or being part of...
that is when i forget the past,
and see the future as a bright and promising now.

so i can withstand any attack,
any drama,
i diffuse it and refuse to become it's slave.

but for the record,
which other people didn't want anyone to know about
there was NEVER any money taken out of the house
to pay for anything but the house.

there was one month when we had a mass amounts of
shows and rentals.
it was the rentals that took 18 dollars
off of each of our rent,
and that was a great day,
because we were struggling.

that's the truth,
plain and simple.

and for posterity,
i want it known.

because now is our time,
to create the art that is memory
and to mold memory into the immortal art.

i want this place to become great to the people
who come here,
and that is all i want.
the few the present
the artists of our time
without budgets and egos
now when we're somewhat pure
if that even exists...

sub-avant-garde...guarding nothing but our right to thrive.

this place is blessed and i am so thankful
to everyone who has believed in it.

my eternal gratitude and respect.

Friday, June 22, 2007

welcome to summer, e=mc2, we are all just atoms

solstice was yesterday, we had a great night - real chill.
celebrated with friends and food!

there is a new vegan restaurant
right across from the bike kitchen
and scoops (ice cream delectables - 4 flavors vegan everyday fresh)

it is in the pure luck restaurant space
which had great food, but this
this is a vegan restaurant that is cheap for vegan food
and it is a couple hundred yards away...

we had their spring rolls
so delicious...i'm really excited about this because
there is such a vibrant community here, and this is the cherry on top!

***

so i have been reading a book published in 1948
about einstein and his revolutionary new envisioning of the universe...
at the time the book was written he was in his early sixties

i have an avid interest in physics,
especially as it relates to metaphysics
and this book (thankfully only 100 pages or so)
is a great bit of reading
that makes me appreciate being a human being
in this vast seemingly endless and ever expanding universe.

a most fascinating thought was that a certain star: arcturus
sent out light that reached the optic nerves of scientists "now"
(being 1948)
but that is just ghost light which left in 1910 to reach earth
at that moment in time...
the author lincoln barnett writes:
"whether arcturus even exists "now" nature forbids us to know until 1986"

i had known that stars light reach us much later than
they are actually burning where they are at,
but i was so intrigued by the idea that i could
as a member of the year 2007
research and find out if the star still exists...

the theory of relativity disavows the previously newtonian concept
of the universe as a machine,
and einstein basically determined that everything can only be measured
by the relative systems it is part of,
and that the whole universe has hugely diverse patterns of gravitation
and energy.

so i finally understood the famous equation...
(more than i did before anyway)
mass is energy stored, energy has mass
it is all matter...
so e is the energy
m is the value of mass
and c is the speed of light
a mind-blowing 186,284 miles a second
and it has been established
that this is the fastest thing we know of
(at least by 1948)

as i'm reading this book,
i feel like i know even less of what is going on today in physics
if only because the increse of knowledge is so great...
but these principles seem to still hold true,
even though i recall in recent years
an article that could possibly shed more light on our
vast universe than even einstein did...

the book is written only with "he" as the scientists
but i've trained myself to include "she"
in any sentence that leaves "her" out...

i remember reading the poetry of an astronomer
who was accomplished in both fields,
and the metaphysics, the beauty of our four dimensional existence,
was captured so eloquently.
she was quite an inspiration to me...
since i have always held the belief that a writer
or any artist
creates more relevant and valuable work
when interested in learning the most about everything...

my dear friend from school
recently finished his novel
and it made me realize again that
i have been exceedingly lucky to pursue art
and that someday, when my novel is done,
(perhaps when i'm 80 if i live that long)
i hope to synthesize all the knowledge i've sought
and been taught
because physics seems to make me feel connected,
interconnected and lucky to be the favored human being
in a whirling mass of energy and space
our lives are a gift,
and i only hope that we can learn how important
every little thing is in our eco-system and universe
how delicate the balance,
how important the consciousness of our small planet's resources.

and the most exciting thing is that
someday with improved technology and research
we could really tap into the energy we are surrounded by
thus ending our suicidal dependence on energy sources that pollute
which we get only a fraction of their actual potential to
generate energy.

"one kilogram of coal (about two pounds" barnett writes,
"if converted entirely into energy,
would yield 25 billion kilowatt hours of electricity
or as much as all the power plants in the u.s. could generate by running
steadily for two months."

beyond knowing a bit more about mass and energy,
the initial description of how relativity is related to our
limited senses, was comforting...
that may seem odd, to take away all perception...
to show that there is no "middle c" and there is no "red color" truly
that endless points of distinction exist between any two points
which blows away even the system of microtonal music...
but i find it comforting...
these "new" understandings of the universe and our relation to it
very much feel like the math behind zen.

i am only half way through this book, and i'm really enjoying it.
it makes me realize how little i know...
and how little even scientists know...
i hope it can humble us as a vastly distant group of humans.
i hope that the fact that potable water is not accessible
in cities except to purchase,
and is so contaminated that it causes diseases in children,
will someday soon bring the people to rise up
and demand that where they live,
be respected as part of them...

these are grand ideas,
all i do is recycle and bike whenever possible,...
but small changes - if everyone, or even thousands of people made them
would make a huge difference.

we are all just atoms....everything is....
no matter where in the world

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

the mild air

stane and i just went to dangerous curve on sunday
and it was beautiful to be there during the day...

the place is all light and brick and white walls.
from outside during quieter moments
you could hear neighborhood birds.

during our stay we witnessed the mesmerizing installation
where tissue paper flowers bloom connecting to electronic boards
...water circulates thru the geometric frame
and falls into a large shell
the whole thing moves and seems to breathe
i was so glad someone plugged it in between performances.
it is called...(a hymn for world peace) by Anna Kim
it will be there:may 19 to june 23, 2007

stane played with a fabulous trombone player and igor
in igor's project ogogo
tj troy, a percussion player, was accompanied
in some of his compositions by
a reed player and a wind instrumentalist
who filled the room with staggered breaths and resonant tones
and tj played a last piece with loops
of so many cymbals and mallet hits
while live charcoal painting occurred
on three white doors hung near the side

this was pure charcoal, large pieces of burnt, blackened wood
and shards on the floor
by sayo mitsuishi
whose performance with the objects was art in itself....

it was a wonderful afternoon.

we rarely go to other events
because we are so involved with what we do here,
but it was fabulous to go out to dangerous curve,
the people who run it are so generous and kind.
it was nice to talk to them
and hear them say that they don't get to go out much either!

though we had to leave in a hurry to be here for the metal show
(which was populated by some of the most kind people,
hosted by bloodmoney)
i was quite happy with the adventure
from il corral to a more blank spaciousness of an artspace...

i could not live in that all the time,
because nothing i am in will remain white-walled for very long
but i enjoyed the different environment, and the friends there.

***
this weekend coming up we have an art opening for wylie,
the maker of much of our resident artwork

wylie will also be playing music that evening
along with other new/new composers so that will be rad.
he is phenomenal on stand up bass
(which i love - those deep low tones...)

after wylie's opening we will be hosting artists
monthly or bi-monthly depending on their whereabouts.
so many of his works i'm attached to now,
and i hope he will let some remain,
but we will be open for another artist
to hang and show for a bit by the beginning of august.

and it looks like there will be more puppetry be presented here...
i have such a fascination with the art...
marionettes, mannequins or fuzzy puppet beasties
they are intriguing to watch
operating as an instant metaphor in climaxes
and a devoted trope thru quiet scenes.

perhaps it is also appealing that it is
performance which completely removes ego self
often even hiding the artist behind the puppet
it has the feeling moreso of a painting in that the artist is concealed...
yet this is live...
there are the hands moving the strings
or sets

when we hosted the sunset chronicles
by the third time i had seen the show
i was focused more on the many people
crossing each other above the scaled down stage
and the looks on their faces,
the movements of their whole bodies
to give life to the characters below them

it is not something i have seen often
but when i have it has surely struck me

like so many things i have been privileged to experience

we may not be free to leave as much as others are
but we can devote ourselves to this building and filling it with sound
with movement and color

i care for little else
but the small part i keep alive
is reason enough

***

Saturday, June 9, 2007

tonight dung mummy tomorrow metal next weekend the art!

buko is playing tonight.
i hope everyone knows how great she is. she is a fabulous songstix with a banjo.
hop frog nights are always good. good people. good music.

tomorrow is metal night! and it's early - starts @9pm
and we'll be letting folks in thru the parking lot door (back of the building)
so there's a chill sidewalk.

our new art mates are doing well, there is a lot to learn being here, and i try not to overwhelm them,
they are good sports. i am very happy that we got so lucky in finding each other.

il corral has been thru so much. i feel ancient with her.
i am getting the slightest bit less naive as time passes. experience hasn't lost it's message on me, esoteric they may be.

i am really enjoying the artists that we've been hosting, and the shows we've been having.

wylie's art opening and a new composer show is on the 16th (next saturday)
his work has survived months in this place - he should get an award just for that.

i have been thinking much more seriously about sustainability lately, and stane and i are committed to using our van for only work necessities - which means more bus and biking - but my bike seat recently got jacked, and i went over to the kitchen to get another one. the people there are so kind, and have the strength in their demanor of people who are really doing what they want to and believe is right. i love even passing by, and knowing it is there.

i have been so sad lately about this place always being where i am, and not being able to go anywhere because i am so busy, but i have had greetings recently from the fellow who runs echo curio and he can never come to our events becuase he's always having them himself...it made me feel better. that is the sacrifice you make i guess - or at least that is how my life is - but i still love being here and working on the place. i feel less responsible for so many people now, with less shows, and i have been rediscovering calm in moments. i very much enjoy it.

i have had such a great time with my little screamer - my name for the circuit-bent thing i've been playing. there is a good sense of pride in the accomplishment of actually making a circuit-bent thing, and i am hoping to have more workshops, ranging in nature - because i learned so much in that one workshop, and that is a change i want to encourage thru more such days.

hope the change to yet another venue to host words isn't too much of a leap. i've had technical suicides - but hopefully i can keep posting, though my image sharing is super limited right now. as long as there is some record - and archives - i can feel like it has not been in vain. this place has seen some great art, and there is much more to come!...i am humbled by it, and cheered...

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

ARCHIVES FROM INTERIM.

MAY 30 2007
we have our new studio / artspace partners : lily, scott & georgia. june 1st cory and burgess will be leaving: cory for ventura and burgess for humbolt county.
we have been cleaning and fixing and rebuilding and moving things around. it is so healthy. i am sad for change - nostalgia always blurs vision - but i know all this change is good. we will be more organized as a collective, and more able to keep things at a managable - thriving - place.
after all that has happened - i feel nothing is shocking or death ordeal, yet i will always fight the sub-level stress. what we do is daring, even though it is getting more organized - i forget - what we do is daring, and takes an immense amount of energy and strength. we are getting more help now too, and will grow according to our resources, not outgrow our ability to live.
il corral is a beautiful place, still just on wobbly 2 year old phrases, but walking bravely toward something new.
love.

WYLIE'S ART FOR THE MASSES WITH EXPERIMENTAL SHOW:
we've been lucky to have wylie's art around for many months now, and it's time for his proper opening. so june 16th at 8 pm we'll have an event to be followed at 10 pm by an experimental show.
wylie himself will be playing, probably upright bass (wow) and will be joined by other fantastic composers:
Mark SoRaven Chacon Pixelform
more info as the time comes closer.


so the sidewalk sale was a success! our neighborhood is full of things now in exchange for which we will pay rent on this sub.avant.garde castle.
we have been cleaning - ready for our new people to join! i think you will like them as much as i do. they are good and down.to.earth. artists in a purity of humble warehouse living. it is hard to work here sometimes, in the cave - so much better surely than previous sweatshop that was here - but nonetheless it can become stifling.
the outdoors is a must. this neighborhood is so rich in life. i barely have to go away from walking simply across a street or two and i can get almost anything i need. to be outside and wave to the neighbors is a must. it makes life breathe deeply.
so i am very excited about shadowcircus coming. the " mad puppets" and burlesque performers from san francisco. apparently they sometimes get banned, not too dissimilarly to frank moore who gets denied many places, but can always be welcome at our place.
these posters and cards and images are so tantalizing. it is fun to be involved in a big event - it evokes the glorious awaiting of the grand tent to billow into the horizon, and for the smell of sawdust. il corral doesn't seem too far away. the colors are certainly reminding of the loud bright flavors of carnival.
we are building and moving things, and having another "pay-what-you-can sale" next saturday before the show june 2nd. we will have music equipment and still many clothes, usefulnesses, etc. it always helps us to stay open - so thank you!
the transhumans are curating the show that night and it will be great. tik//tik i haven't seen in awhile, so that will be rad. and the bad trips i haven't seen live. always fabulous to hear / watch dog and of course, i am so impressed with the transhumans, the multiple layer of words and life and sound - all of which are given equal importance in treatment of craft - but themselves wonderful people to work with.
so many people i have really come to depend on as great souls, like steve from dog who is working at such a fine level of organization with noisepollination, i really am enjoying these relaxing times.
i have broken out the watercolors, and am finally working with color again. having been almost exclusively working with collage - already made color - this is another reminder of why painting, especially watercolor, requires devotion.
things are going well here. it is superbusy feeling, and yet settled, but i know the newness of people and place will bring about a fresh thruway in these drafty stones.
i hope that i am not to indulgent in my personal details. i have decided that to successfully document i have to put everything in the same relative place. so to concentrate the accuracy and possibility of daily work.